So I did the usual New Year Resolution routine for 2014. I am going to lose 30 pounds, start this blog,complete my short novels and fix my relationship. Well so far I have worked on the blog, the short novels, the weight is likely to double and well the relationship….I’ll tell you about that in February. Mind you, these were the same resolutions I had in 2013 and I have had the daunting task of dubbing them “balance brought forward” to 2014.
When Victor Kiam said that procrastination was opportunity’s assassin, he knew exactly what he was saying. I had twelve months to complete FOUR tasks and I completed ZERO. As women we procrastinate about the things that we would like to do and then they never get done. In this post, I speak specifically to unhealthy relationships and how procrastinating about leaving them can severely impact our lives.
I spent five years with my high school boyfriend….he was a cheat, he was controlling and there were clear signs that there really was no hope for a future. I had the opportunity to leave him when I met a charming young man in the third year of that tumultuous relationship (Yes I cheated and it was great). The minute he found out, I forgot about the charming knight in shining armour and I went right back to him. As we closed the fifth year of our relationship, he left me for the United States of America. He said Jamaica was too slow and he was looking for a better opportunity to secure his future. YEP, his future, not our future. At no point in time did he suggest that I might come back and we will have a future, at no point in time did he think of me in the scale of things. I wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. But I had no right to, because I had my chance two years before and I blew it. I could have saved myself the heartache I felt.
I thought I was alone in the situation but when a very close friend of mine told me of her experience, I was in awe. She bore a son for this man that had just swept her off her feet. He was already in a committed relationship living with his “baby momma” and two other sons. She started telling herself that this year would be the final year until the years added up to seven. When she finally decided to leave, his “baby momma” had now become his wife and my dear friend was pregnant with baby number 2 —a child he refused to own.
While our cases are different, we felt the exact same way. I remember how I felt when my boyfriend left and I couldn’t help but ask myself why didn’t I leave when I had the chance? I remember the numbness I felt in my stomach for months. I remember how difficult it was to give another man a chance for just one simple date. My friend related the same feeling of regret. She felt as if she had completely lost her soul.
How many of you ladies have felt this very same way? How many of us are holding on to that relationship that is bludgeoning the depth of our souls?
I have over three hundred friends on Facebook and over ninety percent of them are females. This is primarily due to the fact that I went to an all girls high school. I look at their posts sometimes which usually allude to “Doing Me” and I wonder what inspired them to be “doing me” at the very moment when they shared that post. I would like to think that it was at that very moment that they decided to stop procrastinating about something that boggled them for a period of time (relationship or otherwise) and stood and said I am over this, it’s all about me.
I plan to “do me” this year and I hope you do the same too. I will not bore you with long posts, I will not profess to be the best writer and above all procrastination will not be my opportunity’s assassin. Desire it, claim it and own it. Let’s take the walk and preserve our souls.
From one sister to another sister…..Blessings and Prosperity for 2014 and beyond